


my heart is yours (it’s you that i hold on to)

by Midnightmoons



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Cazzie, F/F, Fluff, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:29:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28255434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightmoons/pseuds/Midnightmoons
Summary: A look inside Casey’s mind (post season 3)orCasey compares her relationship with Izzie to what she had with Evan
Relationships: Casey Gardner/Izzie
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	my heart is yours (it’s you that i hold on to)

The twinges of guilt she would get about how things went down with Evan would occupy her mind sometimes, but as time went on, she learned to stop beating herself up for it. She got her closure with Evan, and she knew that she wasn’t Elsa. Evan knew that too.

He was moving on quicker than she expected, but it warmed her to see. Evan was a good guy, he deserved to be happy.

—

She studies Izzie one day as they sit on her bed with school work strewn out. Training for UCLA had been kicking her ass lately, but Izzie keeps her grounded, keeps her alive so that she doesn’t lose herself when she’s met with bundles of stress at times.

Izzie has dreams, she has a goal that also happens to be Casey’s goal; a hunger to leave this place. Casey always saw herself as ambitious and determined, and she wanted to experience something new.

She had never met anyone who matched that level of determination until she met Izzie. They both happened to be in the same boat, where home lives made it difficult to achieve that dream. This was the first thing she found that they had in common.

This is how Izzie differed from Evan. Him and Casey never saw eye to eye on that topic. He didn’t have the passion and ambitions to leave and experience the world like Casey did. Evan was sweet and he was good, but it seemed their interests and visions of the future were too different.

Maybe that was the start, _the warning sign_ , even before meeting Izzie, that their relationship wasn’t going to last.

—

Around 3 months into their relationship, their first time comes. Casey lay on her back with Izzie’s bare body cuddled up to hers, breathing lightly as she slept with her head on the taller girls chest.

Casey mindlessly drew shapes on the team captain’s back as her eyes wandered around her room’s ceiling, mouth curved into a small smile.

She was content. More content than her first time with Evan. She remembered the tenseness, the subtle feeling of regret, knowing that it only happened to spite her mother.

With Izzie, there was no feelings of regret at all. Touches were soft, delicate, sensual. They grabbed at each other, and Casey was intoxicated with the other girl. There was a fire, a want, that burned deep in her stomach. It wasn’t until then that she realized she never felt that level of want and desire as deeply with Evan as she did with Izzie.

—

“How about a race, Newton?” Izzie smirked up at her as they stood in the middle of the quiet road to catch their breaths after a jog one early morning.

“Absolutely...not,” Casey responded with raised eyebrows, still out of breath.

“Scared you’ll lose to the team captain?” the smaller girl teased, stepping closer to the brunette and wrapping her arms around her neck, their mouths close enough to make their breaths mingle. 

“You wish.”

Izzie’s eyes flickered down to Casey’s lips then back up into her eyes, and the taller girl started to lean in for a quick kiss before Izzie pulled away teasingly. “Nope.”

Casey frowned dramatically. “you’re terrible”

“You love me,” Izzie responded playfully with a toothy grin.

”Oh really..since when?”

Izzie rolled her eyes and bit her lip ever so slightly as she began to run backwards. 

“C’mon slowpoke.”

Casey rolled her eyes lightheartedly. Another thing she loved about Izzie was that she challenged her, pushed her, and always kept her on her toes, whether it was playfully or, well, not that playfully _(especially in track practice)._

“Wait-hey! Slow down, you’re supposed to be slower than me nerd” she called as Izzie continued running.

She giggled breathily to herself as she began to catch up to her girlfriend. The shorter girl was teasing her, like she always did.

As Izzie reached the driveway and began to declare her victory, Casey quickly wrapped her arms around the smaller girls waist to lift her up and spin her around.

Izzie’s giggles were something that always made Casey’s heart jump a little. 

“Newton if you don’t put me down I actually _won’t_ kiss you for the rest of the day,” she managed to get out in between giggles.

When Casey finally puts her down, Izzie immediately cups her face with both hands and presses her lips against the taller girls. Izzie’s body is warm against her own.

“Whipped,” Casey teases as they part.

”Fuck off”

—

It didn’t seem fair to Casey. Didn’t seem fair that Izzie had so much stress and responsibility at only 16 because her mother was a mess with her cracked out and abusive boyfriend.

Izzie had told the taller girl that she wasn’t easy, but Casey admired the dark haired girl _so_ so much. Izzie had strength, considering her situation. She had dreams, she worked her ass off in school and in track, all while taking care of three kids with her grandmother and maintaining a relationship with Casey.

Izzie was trying, _hard,_ and Casey could see it. And despite everything she had going on, she still always managed to make time for the brunette. She let her walls down with Casey, she let herself cry in Casey’s arms, and she let Casey help her.

Casey always reminded her that she wasn’t a burden, that she would do everything she could to help the smaller girl with her siblings and with her studies. And Casey, of course, kept that promise.

—

Izzie and her mother had a special bond. Elsa had a soft spot for her daughters girlfriend even before they started dating. Elsa related to Izzie’s background in some ways. She empathized with the young girl. 

Casey never forgot what Elsa did to her father, how she almost ruined their family by cheating. And although she still made smart ass comments to her mother about it at times, she could never deny that Elsa Gardner did love her kids more than anything. She loved Izzie like one of her own as well.

At times, Casey would catch them talking amongst themselves. Sometimes when Izzie slept over, she would wake up alone, only to walk downstairs and find the two of them talking over breakfast.

Once, she unintentionally eavesdropped from around the corner when she got home one evening. They hadn’t heard her come in so she only caught the last bits of the conversation between Izzie and her mother, apparently talking about a Christmas present that Izzie had gotten Casey, even though Christmas was still far away. Thank god she didn’t hear what it was.

“ _Oh honey, she’ll love it” She heard Elsa say._

_”You really think so?” Izzie asked nervously. “I saw it and just knew I had to get it.”_

She smiled to herself as she heard the excitement in both of their voices before finally making it known that she was home.

Evan never had a bond with her mother like Izzie did.

—

It was nights like these that Casey cherished the most; stargazing with Izzie sitting in between her legs, the back of her head resting against the taller girls shoulder and Casey’s own back rested against her dads truck as they sat in the bed of it, blankets beneath them.

Casey had driven them to an area without much light pollution so that they could have a nice date night. Something they haven’t gotten in awhile.

She’d never talked about the stars with Evan, never went stargazing either. 

But Izzie...she made her question everything, made her actually think about the stars.

Casey’s arms wrapped around her girlfriend tighter from behind when she pointed at some of the stars, asking Casey if she saw the outline that she did. 

_“_ Where the hell do you see a rabbit?” Casey squinted her eyes. 

Izzie half groaned and half laughed. “Ugh Casey, right _there_ ,” she exclaimed, guiding the brunette’s hand to point where she was looking.

”Iz, I’m not sure you know this but there’s like, a bazillion stars in the sky.” She reached for a twizzler from the bag next to them.

“You know what, Nevermind.”

Casey giggled a soft “What’d I do?” 

“You’re refusing to see the rabbit, that’s what,” Izzie laughed, failing at pretending to be mad. Even though she was behind her, Casey could practically feel the team captain’s smile.

She laughed too as Izzie turned around in her arms so that she was now facing her. They smiled at each other softly.

“Thank you for this,” Izzie says as she reaches to cup Casey’s cheek with one hand, slowly caressing it with her thumb.

Casey responds by leaning in to capture the other girls lips with her own. It was a slow, chaste kiss, and she tasted a hint of lipgloss. She never wanted to lose the feeling of Izzie’s soft lips on her own. 

When they finally part, Casey can’t help but admire how beautiful the other girl looked. Everything from her outfit that she knew was carefully picked out, to the freckles on her cheeks, to the way she would smile then slightly bite her bottom lip.

The team captain let her forehead rest against Casey’s, and there was comfortable silence for a moment.

”I love you, Iz”

”I love you too, nerd.”


End file.
